My name is Rick Pettit, and I am a client of sex workers. I am in my 60s, divorced, and unattached. I run my own one-person moderately-unsuccessful service business in a small town in New England. I’m just an ordinary person – not exceptionally “beautiful” or “ugly”, not particularly well-off financially, and certainly not a hub of criminal activity. I am not a “pervert”. I do not “eye little girls with bad intent” like Aqualung. I do not abuse the women I spend time with. Most importantly, I do not “buy” anyone’s body. (There’s not enough room in my closet) I am in favor of total decriminalization of sex work. I try to actively engage the general public in discussion about the facts of sex work, and try to actively dispel the misinformation put forth by those who want to prohibit it for various reasons, some well-meaning but misdirected, some just for profit. The image portrayed in various media of drooling, sleazy “perverts” taking advantage of damaged, drug-ridden providers is meant to herd and de-humanize both sex workers and clients. We are ALL people with lives and feelings, and, yes, bills to pay. In America, money = a level of security = a level of empowerment. The money I give a sex worker makes her life easier, and the time she spends with me has more value than any material wealth to me. My life would be much poorer spiritually without the encounters I’ve shared with the women I have had the great privilege of meeting. I have made many friends in the sex work community, and I will support them however I can. I will continue to do my part by speaking out against the criminalization and stigma sex workers face. I am not afraid to show my face. I am not afraid to use my real name. I am an adult, and how I choose to spend my time and money is MY FUCKING BUSINESS. If I can share a moment or two of pleasure in exchange for a little financial support for a friend, it makes my pleasure all the more complete. I do not speak as a representative for any group – this is my voice only. Let’s recap. My name is Rick Pettit and I support safe, consensual sex work and those who practice it, because you’re supposed to support your friends. Thanks!
my name is rick, not john 
In any reasonable world, this blog post would be appreciated as obvious inoffensive truths. Unfortunately, this isn’t a reasonable world, and I applaud your bravery.
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Why is he wearing high heeled womans shoes?
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Was at a “Walk A Mile In Her Shoes” fundraiser. Checkered Vans are my go-to.
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Congrats on re-establishing your blog! The organizers of CoSWAC with you every success.
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Thank you, Rick. Thanks for helping normalize the face of sex workers and their clients. This is the first and most important step to decriminalization. Much appreciated!!
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Thanks for coming forward on this much maligned issue! You should be free to do business with sex workers !
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Thank you for your brave statements, your kind words and your patronage.
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Like the classic “I am Spartacus” movie line, “My Name is Rick not John.”
I served my country, built a career, provided for my family. NOW in the twilight of my years, l live single by choice. I exercise my God given human rights to enjoy sex with other consenting adults in the manner of our agreement.
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Hooray for clients taking a stand! I have been a sex worker for 13 years, and the mutually beneficial exchange you speak of resonates with me. I’ve had encounters with a vast variety of men (and women, and gender non-conforming individuals) as clients, and all but a few small few of them have been decent, everyday people, who simply want to share some time and intimacy with a consenting provider such as myself. Thank you for speaking up, we need voices like yours to push forward our human right to connect.
~ Savannah Sly
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As a 23 year old sex worker I am really pleased to read this and see you couldn’t care who knows and what they say about it!
I wish I could be like you, as I am so proud of what I do and enjoy the clients I see!
I think you are admirable for being so open and honest it’s incredibly refreshing!
Thank You!
Miss E x
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You described the best sorts of relationships between client and provider. But how common is that? Why does P4P seem fraught with more than it’s share of bad actors, on both sides? Why must ethics be assumed non-existent by each in the other? Does the risk of being robbed or arrested contribute to the thrill?
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Kadink, criminalization doesn’t contribute to ANYTHING. It leaves sex workers open to ALL sorts of abuse – from clients, law enforcement, and “rescue programs” that offer no real aftercare services but reap great profits from government and NGO programs. I haven’t encountered ANY lack of ethics from the women I’ve met, but criminalization contributes to a certain level of “protective mistrust”, as clients don’t want to get busted and sex workers don’t want to get abused or robbed in a scenario where they have no protection or legal recourse. As far as “bad actors” go, we’ve ALL experienced this in MANY places – associates with fake smiles in retail stores, posturing in social situations, maybe even a girlfriend or two. Sex work is very much like any other industry but for 2 factors – the inbred prerequisite of sex=love, marriage, and procreation, and the fact that sex workers have no protection under, and often can face prosecution and abuse from, the law. Think about this – I work on pools & spas. But when I’m not doing my job, I do not live a “pool & spa lifestyle”, and am not referred to as a “pool & spa worker” by society. Because of the stigma placed on sex work, a sex worker is NEVER allowed to be referred to as a mother, or nurse, or whatever by society despite the fact that her work is a very small part of her life – she is referred to as a “whore”. Good relationships between sex worker and client are VERY common, as many sex workers depend on a client base of “regulars” for their income.Remove the criminalization and the stigma and the problems you addressed would become no more significant than those in any “normal” industry. I hope this helps you to think of sex work in a different light. Have a good day and a happy holiday season!
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Rick, excellent points. I’d also add that full decriminalization does not mean that the commercial sex industry is not regulated in any way. It’s a question of how the regulations are done. In a legalized scheme (such as Germany or Nevada) the government imposes strict licensure requirements, and at very high cost; the result is marginal improvement for sex workers, if at all, while wealthy third parties tend to control much of the industry at the expense of providers. The reason sex workers overwhelmingly favor full decriminalization is that it assures that providers have a bigger say in determining and implementing best practices, as demonstrated in New South Wales and New Zealand. And if high risk of any kind is the principal reason being given for trying to prohibit or abolish commercial sex, then we should also ask why the same isn’t being done for a host of other occupations, from rodeo riding to the timber and mining industries.
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That’s right, Desmond. Another reason providers want full decrim is a privacy issue. Licensing means the personal information is public record. This opens the provider up to ALL kinds of dangers, from stalkers to improper use by the police and public officials to overzealous “rescue organizations”. As far as the client-provider relationship, there will always be somewhat of a gap, as there is in ALL service occupations. There are appliance repair people who are conscientious and fair, and there are those who do the least they possibly can for the most cash. There are customers who appreciate and pay and there are those that try to haggle and complain no matter what the quality of the service they’ve received. There are sex work clients who will treat women (ALL women, not just sex workers) as elegantly-presented condoms and there are those who have an appreciation not only for the service, but the human being providing it.
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Interesting you mention the word condom. Consider how critical condoms are to commercial sex in the modern era. Nobody? now even considers sticking his bare wiener into a lower opening of anyone with whom he doesnt share an exclusive relationship. But what about a provider that also doesn’t allow tongue kissing or oral (on her), and bjs must be covered? Without any exchange of fluids, is it even sex?
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In the words of my great-grandparents, “Oy, gevalt!”
Sex is what the people involved say it is, whether it’s a quickie or a prolonged lovemaking session. The important thing is the consent and safety of the partners involved.
Each sex worker has their own boundaries, limits and comfort levels. If most prefer not to engage in deep/French kissing, it has more to do with their sense of what is emotionally intimate.
As for the idea that “exclusive relationship” means no condoms or other barrier protection … keep in mind there are plenty of HIV-positive folks who do use such with their exclusive partners, to keep them safe.
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Thanks for advocating on our behalf, Rick! I look forward to seeing what you do with this blog.
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Thanks, Laurel. I want to be careful with my direction, since this is more about you than me. I just feel that client support and advocacy could go a long way toward changing public views & attitude toward sex work.
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I really don’t have an issue with the uncoerced choices of consenting adults that don’t harm others. I will say though reading the backpage escort section you’d think it was 1955 Mississippi. Of course, since paid sex is illegal anyway, racial discrimination doesn’t make it any more so I suppose. But Geeze! As important as whiteness seems to be, it doesn’t get mentioned a lot.
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It is an issue, Kadink. I’m not a provider, so I can’t speak from that perspective. I do see client attitudes and willingness to provide compensation for time spent at a lower standard for black providers, and the providers who want work are often forced to lower their prices. This is economic prejudice. There is also a disproportionate number of providers of color in jail. This shouldn’t be a big surprise, though, because we live in a racist society (but that’s another blog!). Race is a topic the group SWOP Behind Bars (find them and check them out – they are GREAT!!!) regularly addresses. The race topic is yet another result of criminalization of sex work. We gotta get this shit fixed.
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I also find the typical age disparities (provider to client) a little creepy. I mean, a guy say 55-65 looking to fuck a girl 18-24? From my perspective, entertaining a fantasy where she somehow finds my flabby, wrinkled up ass and Viagra dependent, semi-woody attractive would be the toughest part.
And the other side of it, why does she have to be 21 to drink or smoke weed, but whoring only needs to be 18? My daughters aged 16 and 17 physically are young women but emotionally they’re children. Another year or 2 means they’re capable of posting ads and going into ‘business’ themselves?
That fact that money changes hands is really beside the point. What if the law said a maximum 10yrs age difference? 20yrs? 30yrs? That’s still too old for you? Im saying you would see much more mainstream acceptance of P4P if it didn’t mean dumb teenage girls fucking and sucking old farts.
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Kadink – Many people find age disparities to be creepy, even when no money is exchanged. The only justification I have ever found for it, is that the highest rates of coercion are found with larger age disparities. Because these coercion cases are talked about by police/therapists/media when they go wrong, people assume all relationships with a big age disparity are coercive. Au contraire! Few people talk about the relationships that are successful with big age differences, and there are many of them! It’s likely that people don’t talk about them because of society’s negative attitudes about it.
The fact that money changes hands is absolutely NOT beside the point. Sex work is a job, and people choose it. Just like any job, it has it’s pros and it’s cons. Many sex workers find that the pros far outweigh the cons, considering the alternative of working a minimum wage job that won’t pay all the bills. Sadly, a lot of the cons of sex work result from a lack of protection that invites abuse by clients and police alike, because it is illegal.
Some things to think about…
How about the reverse? Cougar sex workers with young men? Because that happens, too. It’s not all about the creepy old guys. Sometimes it’s simply about men who have no interest in a relationship but want touch and sex. Sometimes they want to live out a fantasy they are too afraid to tell their partner about. Sometimes they are getting no touch or sex at home but don’t want a divorce. Sometimes they want to try something new and they go to a pro who has experience.
Also – the only difference between adult film actors getting paid for fucking and sex workers getting paid for fucking is that it’s being filmed.
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Actually, Kadink, the law IS the problem here. When individual states allow 14 year-olds to get married, this sets a dangerous precedent. I don’t know that less age disparities would change public opinion, though. It’s more about that dirty, nasty thing called SEX.
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I’m not against consenting adults engaging in P4P. As George Carlin pointed out, sex is legal, and selling is legal, what’s the problem? The money only makes happen something that wouldn’t happen based on mutual attraction between those ppl. Usually, a young woman, an old guy.
I think 18 is too young, and even though the money might be good to start, many of the women end up hooking longer than they planned, and some will regret they ever started. But those considerations are for them, their family, faith counselors, or others in whom they confide. It doesn’t mean we should make it illegal.
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First off: If “18 is too young” for sex work, then which should we raise to 21 — the age of consent, or the age at which a person may sign a business contract? And if we raise either one, won’t that beg the question of whether to return the voting age to 21 as well? Either an 18 year old is legally an adult, or they’re not.
Second: If “many of the [young] women end up hooking longer than they planned” it has more to do with the stigma attached to criminalizing sex work. Imagine trying to find any other job under such circumstances, and admitting that you were selling sex. I would expect that, once a society had experienced decriminalization over time, that stigma would disappear, making it easier for people to transition from sex work to other professions.
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The age thing is a tricky conundrum. I think 18 is old enough in the case of non-commercial sex with a partner up to 3 yrs older, but if we’re talking about P4P with a guy older than her dad, should be 21. Huge difference between 18 and 21yo prospective on the world, and Ho’ing’s no less consequential to her future than drinking or toking, IMHO.
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Soooo … Does that mean you’d allow 18 year olds to enter sex work, but limit their clientele to people of a certain age? Would that conversely mean that a sex worker in their 40s or 50s could not have an 18 year old client? In what other ways are you going to young adults, or any interaction of which you don’t approve?
Wouldn’t it be better to instill critical thinking skills at a young age, so they are better equipped to make decisions for themselves once they reach 18?
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Correction: In what other ways are you going to regulate young adults, or any interactions of which you don’t approve?
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I’m saying no sex ‘work’ under 21 years. 18 remains age of consent for non-commercial sex.
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The fact that you put “work” in quotes indicates to me that you don’t even consider it work for someone 21 or over.
Decades ago, many sex worker rights groups would have agreed with you, based on knowledge at the time about medical risks for younger women. Since then, it’s been shown that the risks were exaggerated, and they hold to the basic premise that an adult is an adult (and yes, many would also question raising the drinking age to 21).
The Netherlands recently changed their laws to raise the age limit on sex work to 21. You think all the 18-20 year old sex workers said, “Oh well, better start looking for another job”? Nope. Many continued to work illegally, nor did the law stop other 18-20 year olds from starting.
It’s bad enough that prohibitionists argue that women in their 30s and 40s somehow lack the agency to enter sex work willingly. Trying to exclude younger people from the industry because of subjective fears doesn’t do much better. A person is either an adult capable of consent, or they are not, whether it’s a sexual interaction, a commercial transaction, or both.
Reminder: Not all sex workers are women. There are men and genderqueer folks, including 18-20 year olds, who engage in commercial sex.
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I guess when talking about what should or shouldn’t be legal, we really mean what should or shouldn’t be a felony. I mean, prostitution’s illegal now but I don’t think that law does much to deter anybody. What is it, a $500 fine and a Saturday spent in John School? And as long as youre not doing car dates in a residential neighborhood and throwing your used rubbers on the sidewalk, I think most cops dont even bother with chasing hookers and johns anyway.
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” … most cops don’t even bother with chasing hookers and johns anyway”? You’ve not been reading the news carefully. Police departments around the country have stepped up anti-prostitution stings and sweeps, “reframing” them as “anti-trafficking initiatives”; they are frequently guided and funded by the likes of Swanee Hunt, through her organization Demand Abolition.
Whether it’s trying to deter commercial sex or actually eradicate it (Hunt’s goal), the approach of criminalization has failed miserably. Even the most repressive tactics, practiced by the Soviet Union and the People’s Republic of China, only led to “re-education camps” becoming secret brothels for party elites. Norway, otherwise consider a bastion of social justice, has come under fire from Amnesty International and other groups for their efforts at getting sex workers evicted from their homes and deported to other countries.
The other reason criminalization doesn’t work is that it fails to address the economic and social realities that lead people into commercial sex in the first place. I would think, then, that a conservative yet pragmatic government would favor “tolerance” in the form of decriminalization, combined with monitoring the number of people who enter the industry, and making constructive economic changes when they consider that number to be too high.
Think of it this way … You probably would rather that your sons not have to work in coal mines. But, if that’s the best job available to them, you’d rather the working conditions be as safe as possible. Same with sex work. Criminalization does not make it safer; in fact, it would seem the police are the last group that sex workers should rely upon for protection.
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My point was not lax enforcement of anti-prostitution laws, but that the illegally of prostitution seems largely ineffectual as a disincentive. Conversely, the 18 years age of consent, I believe is widely respected by ppl such as Rick. So when I say say age for sex work should be raised to 21, I mean treat under 21 like under 18 is treated now. I don’t believe decriminalization for over 21 would have any significant impact on men seeking sex with very young women, if penalties and enforcement for 18-21 prostitution remained as they are.
Most of the news coverage of prostitution stings you see places the emphasis on the under-age girls they caught with same net, while the adult busts you will hear about are the pimps exploiting these girls. Redirection of young ppl while the choices they make early-on might be revisited with benefit of more maturity and possibly some adult guidance is what the public is concerned with.
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Well, there’s mainstream media coverage of prostitution stings, and then there’s the actual statistics (when law enforcement makes them available). Then again, I don’t completely trust law enforcem
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(Finishing thought … ) Then again, I don’t completely trust law enforcement stats either; Cook County Sheriff Tom Dart, for example, is notorious for touting figures about how many “johns” he’s busted, but fails to mention that transgender sex workers are often lumped in with the male clients, thus inflating his figures.
Back to the question of age … Either you’re legally an adult at 18, or you’re legally an adult at 21. Creating some legal fiction that you’re “not quite adult enough” for certain things is based less on facts and logic than subjective feelings of “ickiness”. If an 18 year old sex worker is uncomfortable seeing clients above a certain age, that provider is within her/his/their rights to draw a line and say: “Sorry, nope, that’s just my policy.” But government and society should not make blanket decisions of who may be a provider or who may be a client without substantial evidence of its necessity. All I’ve read in your end of the exchange is that you personally don’t like 18 year olds having sex for money with men above a certain age. Sorry, not good enough. Either you prove to me that 18, 19 and 20 year olds don’t have what it takes to make adult decisions of any kind, or you respect that they’re adults and leave such decisions to them.
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I guess I’d use a much more familiar comparison. If the law allows 18 year-old to buy alcohol with the option to kill themselves or someone else on the road, an 18 year-old should be allowed to make their own choice regarding sex work. More blunt – if an 18 year-old is allowed to be shipped overseas to kill “enemy combatants” for pay, an 18 year-old should be allowed to make their own choice regarding sex work. As Desmond said, “18” is just a number. I’m sure there are those at 18 equally or better- equipped to deal with sex work than those at 25 or 30. Abilities are like morals – they should never be generalized or legislated since they are individual values. No 2 people have the same “morals” since no 2 people have had the same life experiences. Am I “comfortable” with an 18 year-old plying the trade? My “comfort” has nothing to do with the individual’s situation or life experience, therefore any opinion I have is just not relevant.
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you slightly mis-characterized my position. I’m for raising the age for paid sex to 21, regardless how old the client (at least 21). 18 yrs age of consent for non-commercial sex. If she wants to fuck a 60 yo for fun, fine. I’m saying that ain’t going to happen much (ever). And, of course, the difference between 18 and 21 is already acknowledged by the law. Drinking, buying a handgun, now recreational marijuana. Put prostitution in the same category.
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No, I think we’re clear on your position. You’re okay with 18,19 and 20 year olds choosing other jobs — including the military, where they stand a very high likelihood of being killed — just not sex work.
The issue is why you think it should be that way. The only reason I’ve gotten from you can be summed up as you thinking it’s somehow “icky”. And to say it’s okay for an 18 year old to have sex with a 60 year old “for fun” but not for pay doesn’t really bolster your viewpoint.
Lastly, just because something “is already acknowledged by the law” doesn’t necessarily make that an objective standard. Racial segregation, depriving women access to employment and credit, censorship in various forms — these were all “acknowledged by the law” until folks questioned those laws and had them changed. Currently, Federal law “acknowledges” that police may seize money and property without any real due process and keep a good chunk of it for themselves; it’s called civil asset forfeiture. So yes, I question the wisdom of raising the drinking age to 21. It’s not good enough to just say “it’s the law” — I want to see a solid reason behind that law.
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No, the reason to postpone legal prostitution to age 21 was that those 3 years are very critical to the psychological development of a young woman, and in many cases her choices at 21 will be different than at 18. What I said about the ‘icky’ factor (your word) was that it could be significantly diminished in the mind of the voting public IF decriminalization didn’t translate to sex between teenage girls and old men. And when you talk about changing bad laws, the mindset of the voter must be considered, no?
Finally, what I said about non-commercial sex between persons 18-21 and someone much older it that it doesn’t happen. We don’t need laws to address hypothetical situations.
Desmond, I’m sure you will have a rebuttal, that’s fine. What I would find much more interesting, though, is a question I have of Rick: How important is the availability of women under 21? I’m younger than you are, and I can’t imagine having anything in common with a woman under 30, let alone under 21.
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The problem with basing laws on assumed generalizations is that you lock in a standard that’s then hard to change once new evidence comes in. Are we really that sure that “those 3 years are very critical to the psychological development of a young woman” to the point of denying them agency? If so, then why don’t we take that into account with young people who choose to risk their lives by going into active military service? Also, I can tell you that 18-21 year olds do get intimate with older people – perhaps not at an astounding rate, but to say “it doesn’t happen” is another unsubstantiated generalization.
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Just throwing a quick comment in here. Non-commercial sex with huge age discrepancies does indeed happen. I am I my late 50s. I have welcomed men as young as 19, and several early 20s into my bed. Not as a client, for fun. Just need to follow the campsite rule; leave them better than you found them.
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What are the commonalities between sex work and military service that you think applicants should have the same age requirement? Like it or not, you have to admit there are huge downsides to sex work. Maybe unfair, but it’s reality. If an 18yo wants to start, I’m going to assume she’s doing so without the benefit of parental guidance, because the guidance would be don’t do it. Now, if she didn’t have parental guidance at 18, she probably doesn’t at 21 either, but at least she’s had a few more years to develop her own judgement. I’m telling you, at 18 they’re still kids. Maybe look like grown women, but if you live with them it’s pretty obvious. I’m for decriminalization as I’ve said, but not at age 18.
For a young person considering military service, I’m going to assume the decision did involve his/her parents. Not to say military doesn’t have a downside, but that the decision likely wasn’t made without sophisticated consideration.
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“There are huge downsides to sex work” … First off, much of those downsides are a direct consequence of stigma and criminalization. Second, there are downsides to every job, including military service; I’m unable to think of any worse downside than being injured or killed, or to kill another human being, as a feature of the job itself.
And while you’re honest about making an assumption about a young person’s decision to join the military, I feel the need to ask how aware you are of your assumptions surrounding sex work. Have you actually listened to sex workers themselves, across the spectrum, as I have?
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The following post from http://ask.metafilter.com/281533/Escort-pricing-hourly-to-full-night
articulates those downsides from the first-hand prospective of a former escort:
Having said all that, I’d strongly discourage you from becoming an escort. No, you won’t become a strung-out homeless addict. But the job has some distinct downsides:
You will have to lead a double life, and that is insanely stressful. I cannot emphasize this enough. The logistics alone are a headache: you have to get a second phone, a second email address, deal with email encryption, a phone number proxy service, take good photos for your ads, post ads, respond to ads, find a reputable community to advertise in, and screen clients. Or, find an agency to do all that for you, but they’ll take a significant cut.
Unless you live somewhere that prostitution’s legal, you have to learn how to dodge law enforcement. Mistakes in this line of work can have serious consequences. This isn’t stripping, porn, or fetish work in a dungeon (all of which are also damn hard work, but legal); you can be arrested, possibly go to jail, and while it’s unlikely, it’s also potentially fatal. Many employment contracts have moral turpitude clauses; if outed, you might lose your day job. You might have a hard time finding normal work afterward.
You’ll have to deal with the financial stress of booking hotel rooms, and absorbing the cost when clients don’t show or cancel at the last minute. You’ll need to start spending a lot more money on grooming, hair, skin, and nails, and then deal with the questions from people in your regular life who comment about how you look.
You’ll have to deal with reading reviews of your performance in bed. (Not recommended for the remotely insecure.) You have to always be on and be cheerful and put on a persona. You have to deal with clients who try to use you as a therapist, clients with questionable personal hygiene, and clients who have major issues around power and money. You have to deal with men you absolutely are not attracted to, and to have to fake emotional and physical attraction. The regulars I had who were actually men I found attractive, treated me kindly and as if I were a person in my own right, instead of a walking Fleshlight? Few and far between, honey.
It will absolutely and irrevocably change how you view men, sex, and relationships. Let me repeat that: irrevocably. I strongly suggest seeing a therapist while you’re escorting to help deal with the new ways you’re going to see people and yourself.
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You are taking one person’s account and treating it as a universal. As the saying goes, the plural of “anecdote” is not “data”.
Let’s say that another person posted a positive account of escorting, even suggesting that it’s “worth a try”. What would we say?
The person giving the negative account is lying.
The person giving the positive account is lying.
Both are telling the truth, but the negative account speaks for a small minority.
Both are telling the truth, but the positive account speaks for a small minority.
Both are telling the truth, but this is too small a sampling to base any conclusion.
Lastly, there is the question of whether the work itself is what makes it negative for so many, or whether it’s criminalization and social stigma that are the biggest contributing factors. I’m inclined to believe the latter, both from hearing and reading diverse experiences of sex workers in a variety of legal regimes (including decriminalization), and from the experiences of the LGBTQ community who were similarly criminalized and stigmatized.
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True, the account was that of only one, and how many other retired escorts might offer similar advice to a young woman contemplating the profession is unknown. But the problems she talks about I believe are true for many and should not be casually dismissed. Decriminalization might resolve the problems related to arrest and incarceration but that’s (decriminalization) unlikely in the near term. The social stigmas will probably remain longer than that.
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Full decriminalization deals with much more than just arrest and incarceration. It opens the door to sex workers utilizing business and labor laws to their advantage. It allows them to take measures to better assure their safety. It helps to erode stigma, whether an individual chooses to continue or to transition to another line of work. It provides the basis for sex workers to affirm and defend their full human rights and dignity.
As for saying that decrim is “unlikely in the near term”? I remember hearing that a couple of decades ago, in reference to marriage equality for same-gender couples. No matter how long or how rough the path, the destination is worth the journey.
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